If you’ve ever seen the movie Elf, you may have noticed that James Caan exhibits about as much energy throughout the film as a three-toed sloth. I consider it the most mailed-in performance in the history of cinema. In fact, I challenge anyone to point out a performance that is anywhere near as listless. Clearly, Caan is the Secretariat of sucky acting. His inclusion in a masterpiece like The Godfather is nothing short of an outrage.
I bring this up, because I find it fascinating how some are able to get by—thrive even—on such extremely minimal effort. Did you know that the sloth is so energy efficient that it can go a week without urinating or defecating? Caan proved that he can make millions without modifying his facial expression or intonation in the slightest. And some fantasy owners are perfectly happy to christen their team with a name that exudes laziness—a name like “Home Runs,” “Doug Outs,” or “Lots of Balls.” {Insert Diet Pepsi Max voiceover, “WAKE UP PEOPLE!”}
I’m sure you have more than one dude in your league who mailed it in. So get it into a comment by April 30 in order that we can crown the James Caan of fantasy team names. (I’ll choose finalists, then Roto Rebel readers can vote.)
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