Funny Fantasy Baseball Team Names

So you’ve been scrutinizing offseason personnel moves, memorizing minor-league stats of prospects, churning out cheat sheets, and scouring the Web for mock drafts in hopes of assembling a team that will stomp the comp like Shaun White. But have you given any thought to what you might name that world-beating squad of yours? Your team name is your store front, your first impression to the rest of your league. Choose a lame one and you’ll be mocked all season long. Invent a clever one, however, and you will command instant respect.

So what exactly goes into a good team name? Well, there are no hard and fast rules, but it usually involves humor. Here are some strategies to consider:

Incorporate player names
This seems to be the most popular approach and deservedly so. Team-name contests I’ve held in the past have uncovered gems like “Victorino is Mine,” “Tejada They Come, Tejada They Fall,” and Hall-of-Famer “My Sheets Don’t Stink.” I’ve seen some other standouts on the Web like “Nomar Mr. Nice Guy” (from Fantasy Café user “quickfingerz”) and “Rolen Doobies” (from Fantasy Café user "AfroWiggum").

Incorporate your own name
The best I’ve seen is “Haas of Payne” co-owned by guys with a fortunate combination of last names.

Taunt other owners
One of my buddies named his team “StillHappy@Basement” to mock the owners in our league who, for years, have been too chicken to pull the trigger on any trades despite the fact that they linger hopelessly at the bottom of the standings. I once named my team “Thanks for Contributing to My Kid’s College Fund,” which would have been cool had it not coincided with the end of my consecutive titles streak.

Use Pop Culture References
“Me Love You Long Ball” and “You Down with OBP?” may no longer be current, but they certainly are classic. “Neverland Slumber Party” has nothing to do with baseball but made me chuckle nonetheless.

I hope that gets the creative juices flowing. If you come up with any good ones, be sure to enter it in comments below!